Runescape's Would-Be Wimpy Pimp

Men, in both the real world and the online world, sometimes get a little desperate for companionship of the female variety. Some can take a hint...and others are so desperate, they are willing to dish out every last effort to get this girl to stick around.

Some are so willing, they will pay you. Big bucks. And give you clothes that they think you would great in.

You get the picture.

Enter Yoyakem. He saw my character (again, not the real me) and decides I would be the perfect girl for him. Doesn't bother to check first to see if I'm gay, male, or 80 years old, but hey, he's in love*, so who am I to dampen his spirits?

Oh wait. He's an idiot. I have every right.

*As much in love one can be without every having laid eyes on any representation of the individual you want to have laid*

*Exiting Varrock towards Barbarian Village to make clay bowls. Yoyakem appears right around the bank*
Yoyakem: Hi
Me: What do you want?
Yoyakem: Hi
Yoyakem: Hi
Me: Why are you following me?
Yoyakem: So i can be your friend
Yoyakem: Be friends
Me: And you want to be my friend because...
Yoyakem: U are nice
Yoyakem: So are we friendzs
Me: Where did you gather this information?
Yoyakem: So are we friends
Yoyakem: Plz
Me: No
Yoyakem: U are hot bab
Me: Excuse me?
Yoyakem: U are hot
Me: How can you tell?
Me: You only see my character
*At some point in this area I started working the clay on the pottery wheel and making the clay into bowls*
Yoyakem: I can see u
Yoyakem: Be friends
Me: No
Yoyakem: Plz baby
Me: Don't call me baby
*awkward 10 second-ish pause while I continue to make clay bowls*
Me: Get gone
Yoyakem: Fine can we plz be friends i will giv3 5k
Me: Seriously...
Yoyakem: Give u 5k
Yoyakem: Ya
Yoyakem: Plz
Me: You are pathetic
Yoyakem: No
Me: Yes you are
*Yoyakem wishes to trade with you*
Yoyakem: No
Yoyakem: Baby u are hot
Me: How the hell can you tell??
Yoyakem: I will give u a pink skirt
Yoyakem: I can see on here
Me: I don't want a pink skirt
*I start walking back to Varrock to get some water. He follows right behind*
Me: Dude, just leave
Yoyakem: Can plz be your friend i will be your servent
Me: No
Me: Go away
Yoyakem: Fine cry baby
*runs off*

I'm a crybaby, hm?

Funny. Don't you have to be a little bit sad first to be crowned a crybaby?
Cause I'm not crying.