Runescape's Would-Be Wimpy Pimp

Men, in both the real world and the online world, sometimes get a little desperate for companionship of the female variety. Some can take a hint...and others are so desperate, they are willing to dish out every last effort to get this girl to stick around.

Some are so willing, they will pay you. Big bucks. And give you clothes that they think you would great in.

You get the picture.

Enter Yoyakem. He saw my character (again, not the real me) and decides I would be the perfect girl for him. Doesn't bother to check first to see if I'm gay, male, or 80 years old, but hey, he's in love*, so who am I to dampen his spirits?

Oh wait. He's an idiot. I have every right.

*As much in love one can be without every having laid eyes on any representation of the individual you want to have laid*

*Exiting Varrock towards Barbarian Village to make clay bowls. Yoyakem appears right around the bank*
Yoyakem: Hi
Me: What do you want?
Yoyakem: Hi
Yoyakem: Hi
Me: Why are you following me?
Yoyakem: So i can be your friend
Yoyakem: Be friends
Me: And you want to be my friend because...
Yoyakem: U are nice
Yoyakem: So are we friendzs
Me: Where did you gather this information?
Yoyakem: So are we friends
Yoyakem: Plz
Me: No
Yoyakem: U are hot bab
Me: Excuse me?
Yoyakem: U are hot
Me: How can you tell?
Me: You only see my character
*At some point in this area I started working the clay on the pottery wheel and making the clay into bowls*
Yoyakem: I can see u
Yoyakem: Be friends
Me: No
Yoyakem: Plz baby
Me: Don't call me baby
*awkward 10 second-ish pause while I continue to make clay bowls*
Me: Get gone
Yoyakem: Fine can we plz be friends i will giv3 5k
Me: Seriously...
Yoyakem: Give u 5k
Yoyakem: Ya
Yoyakem: Plz
Me: You are pathetic
Yoyakem: No
Me: Yes you are
*Yoyakem wishes to trade with you*
Yoyakem: No
Yoyakem: Baby u are hot
Me: How the hell can you tell??
Yoyakem: I will give u a pink skirt
Yoyakem: I can see on here
Me: I don't want a pink skirt
*I start walking back to Varrock to get some water. He follows right behind*
Me: Dude, just leave
Yoyakem: Can plz be your friend i will be your servent
Me: No
Me: Go away
Yoyakem: Fine cry baby
*runs off*

I'm a crybaby, hm?

Funny. Don't you have to be a little bit sad first to be crowned a crybaby?
Cause I'm not crying.

Quick and simple

I ran into this remarkable treasure (read: Annoying POS) as I was leaving the city of Varrock in World 4 on my way to Lumbridge this morning.
I was just walking along, minding my own business, hoping to go get some milk to cook with. (I reached the Cooking level for the Cooks' Guild not too long ago.) I was not talking to anyone (I rarely do) and I was hoping to complete the task rather quickly and without trouble.

Would this post be here if this were so? Of course not.

As I was nearing the tavern on the outskirts of town, enter Tbs241, who suddenly starts following me. I had not invited him to do so, he just suddenly was right behind me.

Clearly, he has had a lot of experience asking girls out before.

Here's our brief conversation:
*Exiting Varrock (World 4)*
Tbs241: Hey
Tbs241: Hey
Me: What?
Tbs241: Hi!
Me: Um, hi
Tbs241: U got a bf?
Me: Why?
Tbs241: Cause i wanted to ask u out
Me: Again, why?
Tbs241: Cause!
Me: Pathetic
Tbs241: No im not
Me: So why are you asking out a complete stranger?
Tbs241: Ass hole
*Tbs241 runs off*

Lucky for me, he's too much of a pussy to bother with pursuing me. Now maybe I can collect my milk in peace.

Oh, and one word of advice for anyone reading. Calling someone an asshole is never a good way to get someone to go out with you. It doesn't matter how many times your favorite rapper says it - it doesn't work one someone with more than 3 functioning brain cells.

Clearly, this guy doesn't have any that are firing. Except maybe in his hand.

The Not So Secret Origins

Hello friends (and enemies alike)!

I am Queen_of_the_Serpents, and I have set up this blog to tell people about the idiots that I encounter in the online adventure game, Runescape.

For those who don't know anything about Runescape, it is essentially a game where you create a virtual character, and you go around the world, completing quests, jobs, etc. (Basically, it's a free version of World of Warcraft.)

But I encounter a lot of people who think that Runescape is a good place to hook up with people. I have received more dating offers from people I know nothing about on Runescape than anywhere else on the face of the planet. These people have never seen me (only my character), they don't know my age, where I live, what I like to do, or anything else about me, but they still come up to me and ask, "Will you be my gf?" So, I've decided to start a blog about it.

I hope you will enjoy my posts, and feel free to contribute any encounters you have experienced, in Runescape or in other online games.